Ted
by The BritBrit
Summary: Ever wonder what happened after Giles got shot? This goes from when the scene cuts to the next time you see them. Ends when they kiss. JGfic. (Duh.)
1. All Aboard For the Cheerful White Morgue

Title: Ted  
  
Description: I was always bothered that they never showed what happened between Jenny & Giles in Ted. You know, after she shot him. So my friend and I wrote our own version. Based on a very interesting RPG I once did. Please R&R, If you like.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS. Only the idea for this fic.

* * *

Jenny helped Giles hobble to where their cars were parked. He leaned against the side of her car as she fished through her purse. She pulled out her keys and unlocked the passenger door, helping him get in. She then hurried over to the driver's side and got in, starting the engine.  
  
Giles moaned in quiet agony as he turned over, clutching his hand to the wound in his back.  
  
"Hold on, you. We're going to get you some medical help."  
  
He ignored the comment, but glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He pulled his hand back in front of him, which was covered in blood. Jenny glanced at his blood-covered hand and cringed slightly, a disgusted look on her face.  
  
"Ugh."  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"The hospital."  
  
Giles groaned. "Just drive me to my house, please. I have some bandages there. I'll be fine. I don't need to go to the hospital."  
  
Jenny shook her head. "Forget it. You're going to the hospital whether you like it or not. And besides, I'm the one who's driving." She gave a smug grin. He sank back down in the passenger's seat.  
  
A few minutes later she stopped in front of the cheerful white building. In Giles' eyes, it looked more like a cheerful white morgue.  
  
"We're heeree!" she trilled enthusiastically, getting out of the car and dashing around to his door. But upon trying to open it, she found it was rather locked.  
  
"Rupert! Open up!" she tugged on the handle to the door.  
  
"No!" He glared at her, then pocketed her car keys.  
  
"Rupert... I'm warning you..." she yanked on it harder.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Very well then, you've left me no choice." She let go of the door's handle. She proceeded to put a hand to her hair and pull out a hair clip.  
  
"Ha! That never works, I hope you know!"  
  
She also proceeded to ignore him as she jammed the piece of skinny metal into the lock and furiously wiggled it. After a good 30-45 seconds, the lock gave a click and she tugged the door open triumphantly.  
  
"But that never works," he grumbled as she tugged him, none too gently, out of the vehicle and to the 'morgue'. She then reached into his coat pocket and took back her keys.  
  
"Why are we going to a morgue again?" He clung to her arm.  
  
"It's not a morgue, Rupert."  
  
"Is too," he said, with a faint whimper.  
  
She gave an exasperated sigh and looked at him. "And why do you think it's a morgue?"  
  
"It's white, it's tiled, it has a cemetery, and I'm going to die."  
  
"One, you are not going to die. And two, there is not a cemetery."  
  
"There is too!" He continued insistently.  
  
"Where?" She looked around.  
  
"Over there." He pointed to it.  
  
She glanced past him in disbelief before spying the old tombstones. And the sign next to it that read 'Sunnydale Cemetery'. "Rupert, that's the city cemetery. It's just a coincidence."  
  
"That's what they want you to think," he said, shifty-eyed.  
  
TBC.

* * *

Lol. Sort of a crappy fic, and a crappy first chapter. More to come, I'm typing it up now. 


	2. Purposely Accidental Injuries

Title: Ted  
  
Description: Set between Giles getting shot and Jenny & Him making out in the library.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, no infringements meant.

* * *

Jenny sat with Giles in the hospital lobby, waiting for his turn to go in to see the Doctor. He looked like he was about to start pouting.  
  
"You think an individual with an arrow wound would be treated fairly quickly." He grumbled. "I'm going to bleed to death," he added in an undertone.  
  
She sighed. "You're such a baby, Rupert."  
  
He glared at her. "And who happens to have the arrow wound inflicted by one I use to think was an ally."  
  
She looked slightly embarrassed as she sent him an exasperated glance. "I told you! That was an accident!"  
  
"I'm sure," he grumbled under his breath again, looking around the foreboding waiting room. "This morgue is far too cheerful. And white. Too much white. Why are they always white? I think off-white is nicer than white. With some sunshiny-yellow and flowers every so often. But no. It's white. White, white, white, white, white."  
  
Jenny sighed and covered her eyes with a hand. Just then, the nurse walked into the waiting area. Seeing Jenny with Giles, she must have assumed they were married.  
  
"Umm, - Mrs. Giles?" She looked uncertain. Jenny blinked.  
  
"Oh! No, we're not married. We're just colleagues." She blushed bright red.  
  
The nurse looked flustered. "Oh, I'm so sorry. The Doctor will see you now, Mr. Giles."  
  
Jenny helped him limp through the doors into a room. As they passed the nurse, Giles muttered "about time" to no one in particular.  
  
The Doctor was waiting in the office for them. She smiled at the two of them, then looked at Jenny in particular. "Are you the wife?"  
  
Jenny shook her head. "Mm, no. We work together."  
  
The doctor gave her a doubtful look. "Okay, Mr. Giles. Do you want to take a seat on the table, and tell me what happened." She motioned to the steel examination table.  
  
Giles reluctantly hoisted himself up onto the cold metal surface. "I, umm..." he tried to think of a good enough lie. "I had an accident with a bolt." _Well, it was mostly true._ He thought.  
  
"Mm-hmm. Well, I need you to take off the coat and shirt, so I can take a look at your injury. Then we can treat it."  
  
Giles blanched. "Must I really?" He looked from the female doctor to Jenny. Of course she just stared at the wall, trying not to laugh.  
  
"Yes, please."  
  
Jenny could have sworn she saw his lip quiver. She covered her mouth with a fist, struggling to hold back the giggle.  
  
Giles, with his now very wounded pride, tried to pull of his jacket. Tweed – the 'better than Kevlar' restraint jacket. It took a few minutes, but he managed. Then he unbuttoned the now blood-soaked shirt and removed it, with his waistcoat and tie. Jenny, all the while, turned and look away. Just to give him a sliver of pride and dignity. That way she could shatter it later.  
  
Giles, at the moment felt rather naked, figuratively speaking. The pain in his back prevented any action from being taken to attempt to hide himself.  
  
Jenny let out a smothered giggle. Giles glared at her. "Oh, do shut up. This is all your fault." He grumbled in an even more whiney tone.  
  
She looked up with an innocent smile on her face.  
  
The doctor moved around behind Giles and he physically shivered. Jenny snorted. His expression was priceless, if not pathetic all the same.  
  
"Okay, tell me where you feel any pain. I need to find out how deep that bolt went." She gave him a split second warning before she started poking his wound mercilessly.  
  
He let out a yelp and began to squirm, despite the pain, to try and avoid her touch. "Ow. Woman, would you stop? Of course that hurts!" He clutched his hand to his back, nursing the injury.  
  
"All right, fine. We'll just get you bandaged up. Then I suppose you can go. Miss, I'll need you to sign some forms. It's just hospital policy." She opened a cabinet and removed several rolls of bandages. Moving over to Giles, she prodded him again to stand. He obediently jumped up.  
  
Jenny headed for the door to leave and give him a little privacy. Giles reached out and grabbed hold of her coat, stopping her. She turned to look at him.  
  
"Please, don't leave me," he practically whimpered. She shrugged and sat down in the chair in the corner.  
  
The doctor proceeded to wrap the bandages around his stomach. The task was complete, finally, after many "ow"s from Giles and a few giggles from Jenny.  
  
TBC.

* * *

Yes, Giles is being a baby. Like I said, it's very OOC, just silly. R & R if you like. More to come.


	3. Out of Control Runaway Insect Coffin

Title: Ted  
  
Description: As before. What happens between Giles getting shot by Jenny and Buffy seeing them making out in the library. Please R & R!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS or any of the characters. No money is being made, this is for fun.

* * *

An hour later, the two were standing at the receptionist's desk. Jenny handed back the medical forms to the woman. Then she helped Giles limp to her car.  
  
They sat in silence for several minutes as Giles struggled to get his shirt buttons done up again. Then Jenny burst into the biggest fit of giggles. Giles was in too much pain to bother to reach over and strangle her.  
  
After him glowering at her for a bit, she recovered. "I'm sorry." She gasped out the words between short breaths. "It was just too hard not to laugh."  
  
Giles looked at her like a wounded child. "You're a terrible person. I do hope you know that." Jenny laughed even harder. Giles frowned, watching his little remaining dignity fly out the window. Why was she laughing at him?  
  
"You were,... it's just that... you were such a baby!" She let out. Giles seemed to pout in his seat, then tried to use a butterfly net to catch his pride out the window, which was strangely out of reach.  
  
She turned the key in the ignition and started the car before putting it into reverse. She started to back out of the parking lot.  
  
**_Bump_**  
  
"Ouch!" he yelped as the went along.  
  
"Oops! Speed bump."  
  
"You're a terrible driver, too. I hope you know that also."  
  
_**Another bump, this time bigger**_  
  
"Oww! Woman, would you slow down?!" He looked over to Jenny, who had a mischievous smile on her face. "That was deliberate!"  
  
Giles looked down to see her foot push the gas pedal down further. "No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No more!  
  
"Of course that wasn't deliberate!" she tried to say innocently, which wasn't very convincing due to the evil grin & the increased acceleration of the vehicle.  
  
"Ahhh! It's a runaway insect coffin!"  
  
"It's a car, Giles, not a coffin," she said calmly. "And it's called a beetle, not an insect."  
  
"It will be a coffin with the way you're driving, woman!" He ignored the fact that she had just corrected him.  
  
Giles clutched at the seat, and continued to plead with her. "Jenny, please! If I say I didn't mean it, will you stop this madness?"  
  
"Maaaayybee!"  
  
Giles slumped down in his seat and closed his eyes. "I'm going to die. I'm going to die. Oh dear Lord, I'm going to die," He muttered to himself. This was followed by insane laughter. Giles crossed himself.  
  
"Oh come on! You're such a stick in the mud, Rupert! You need to have more fun!"  
  
"Like the time you took me to see the nitro-burning funny cars?"  
  
"Exactly!"  
  
He shook his head. "Well, then thank you, I've had quite enough fun to last me a life time."  
  
"Oh, fine. I'll drive at a safe speed. At least my car works just fine. Look at yours, the darn thing's a death trap, Rupert. And you call mine a coffin. I don't think so."  
  
"Yes, well, at least my vehicle isn't as difficult to drive as is Spike's car. The blackened-out windows can be a problem when driving near the police station."  
  
"Since when have you driven Spike's car?" She looked at him with raised eyebrows. "And since when will you drive anything but your Brit-mobile – A.K.A., coffin on wheels, hmm?"  
  
He glared at her.  
  
"It's quite a long story. One that I'm rather not keen on telling to you at the moment. I'll have you know, it was not my choice. But I'm simply saying his 'vehicle of darkness' is a better acclaimed death trap than my perfectly fine automobile."  
  
"Yeah, right. I'll believe that when I see it."  
  
There was a moment of silence before she switched on the radio. Giles looked around all shifty-eyed before reaching for the dial.  
  
"Hey!" Jenny caught him as he went to switch the station. "Don't – don't you dare! Hey don't touch that!" She smacked his hand, but not before he changed it.  
  
"Oww! That hurt." He nursed his hand.  
  
Jenny frowned at the readio. "What did you change it to, anyway?" She asked as she caught the end of a song. Sounded like classic rock to her, but this was Rupert Giles. Who knew?  
  
"Bay City Rollers." He stated with a silly grin.  
  
"Oh, no! I'm not listening to music older than I am." She moved to change it again. Giles reached to stop her. "Leave it. It's not that old. And it's good music."  
  
The two of them fought over the dial like little kids squabbling for a piece of candy. Then, they hit a bump. The dial, which had been in Jenny's hand when they hit the very bump, popped clear off.  
  
She held it in shock in her hand, staring at the station it had landed on.  
  
The Polka Station.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Jenny braked immediately, clamping her hands over her ears. Giles was tossed forwards into the dashboard. He then flopped back into his seat, even more in pain than before.  
  
Jenny tried to turn the little rod which had fastened the dial in place, but it wouldn't budge. "Noooo," she wailed in a low tone.  
  
"You really are crazy! Just turn the bloody thing off!" he yelled over her sobbing.  
  
She stopped sobbing. "Oh." She turned slightly pink. "Right. I knew that," She assured him.  
  
"Sure you did," Giles did a very good imitation of Buffy as he rolled his eyes.  
  
"Oh shut up, England."  
  
"I'm sorry, but my name is Giles, though you may call me Rupert."  
  
Jenny merely smiled. "What about snobby? Unless you prefer me call you England to that."  
  
He pouted.  
  
"England will do."  
  
"Thank you." She grinned triumphantly.  
  
Finally she pulled up in front of his place.  
  
"Well. Here we are! Home sweet home! Well,... yours anyway." Only his British dignity kept him from bolting out the door & to the house, where multiple bolts would lock the windows and doors to keep the insane person next to him from his person.  
  
"Thank you, umm... for taking me to the hospital. Erm..." He looked from the door handle to the front steps of his residence. He tried to calculate the distance between Point A and Point B...  
  
"Any time! A nose in need deserves Puffs indeed!  
  
He blinked and stared at her.  
  
"It means if you need help, I'll be there! Like Puffs tissues!"  
  
**_Blink.  
_**  
"Tell me you've seen the commercial, England."  
  
**_Blink blink._** He scooted closer to the car door and then threw it open. Next thing she knew he was hobbling up the walk as fast as he could. He was followed by peals of insane, crazy laughter.  
  
TBC.  
  
A/N: I have no idea what the Bay City Rollers are considered under, classic rock or what. So I was just making my best guess of judgement.

* * *

As I said, a very crappy fic. It's very OOC, and very silly. Meant for amusement of myself and others.


	4. Commendable Roadkill Squeakiness

Title: Ted  
  
Description: Just an insane, sick, crazy thought that came through my head. What happens between Jenny & Giles in 'Ted' Hehehe...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS, but I have partial rights to the plot portion. The other half belongs to Flipper. It was our RPG that I based this on . And the _Baby's First Watcher's Guide to Demons_ belongs to me and my friend Katie. We were really, really hyper. So you might not want to ask.

* * *

Jenny was utterly shocked when Giles showed up at school the next day. She thought he might have stayed at home that day. To heal. But nope. He was there. A little sore-looking, but there, all the same. Maybe she should have went by to threaten him to get him to rest up. Probably wouldn't have worked anyway. Oh well.  
  
She pushed open the swinging doors and walked into the Library.  
  
**_Silence._**  
  
Hmm..., she thought. She walked further towards Giles' office. He was sitting at the desk, hunched over some large volumes.  
  
"Rupert, that's horrible on your wound."  
  
He glanced up.  
  
"Hello, Jenny."  
  
She cocked her head to the side.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
He gave a slight smile, returning to look at whatever it was he was doing, which happened to be looking up something under "Demons" which ever so kindly had a piece of paper taped to the cover. It read, _'A Baby_ _Watcher's First Guide to Demons'_. He gave a wry smile – Xander's work, no doubt.  
  
"Unless you have forgotten, I do believe I work here."  
  
Jenny sat down on the edge of his desk, pulling the book away from him. She shut it and stared at the cover for a second. Then she moved it onto a shelf, out of his reach.  
  
"I know that. But you shouldn't be here. You should be at home, resting. I shot you with an arrow, Rupert. You probably need more time to heal."  
  
He sighed.  
  
"I know that, but I do have to make a living, you know. But just so you know, it was a bolt, not an arrow. And I'm feeling much better. Really."  
  
It was her turn to sigh.  
  
"Sure you are, Rupert, sure you are," she said, patting him on the back. He let out a sound that resembled something like a squirrel either being caught in the headlights of the car,... or being run over by it. In other words, a strange squeak.  
  
A sly grin of disbelief crossed her face.  
  
"Sure you are, Rupert, sure you are."  
  
He grumbled under his breath, pouting as he glared at her.  
  
"That was unnecessary," he stated bluntly.  
  
"It was unnecessary, yes. But it was worth the squeak."  
  
"Squeak, squeak," he mumbled.  
  
She grinned.  
  
"That's the spirit! Now that we've established your commendable squeakiness, I believe I should take you home, to rest."  
  
He paled slightly.  
  
"That doesn't mean I have to ride in your vehicle again, right?"  
  
She pouted.  
  
"I fixed the radio! It doesn't play the 24-hour Polka station anymore!"  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
"I won't drive at unnerving velocities over speed bumps! I'll even get you some tea over at the bookstore on the way!"  
  
He perked up.  
  
"Really?"  
  
She nodded. "Mm-hmm."  
  
Jenny slid off his desk and headed for the exit. Giles got up and walked gingerly after her. Before she reached the doors, he pulled her back by the arm. She spun around to face him.  
  
Giles bent his head down to whisper in her ear. "I missed you, Jenny."  
  
A smile spread over her face. Then he moved and pulled her into his arms, kissing her.  
  
A smirk was next after they pulled apart.  
  
"That was nice."  
  
"It was intended."  
  
Finis

* * *

So there it is. My silly version of what happened. I couldn't help myself.


End file.
